you have been called out of the wilderness, for you know who your
Father in Heaven is. I am the Lord God of Israel; the great I AM
that I AM. I called you from birth, from conception. I knit you
together for a purpose beyond your comprehension to be fulfilled
in the here and now". (Psalms 139:13-28). Destiny in life is
lived moment by moment, day by day.
|10 COMMANDMENTS FOR A HUSBAND
"No one has greater love than to lay down his own
life for his friends". (John 15:13)
order for a man to understand his wife - he first must be able to
understand his reasons for giving his vows to her in front of God
for one - and just how deep is his love for her for another. Your
main reason for marriage unto your wife should had been for love
only. But marriages today is based upon lust and passion. And if
those are your reasons then let me tell you - you better have
other options because once the lust and passion had worn off -
then you are in some big trouble.
To love your your wife unconditionally means exactly that -
"UNCONDITIONALLY". To lay your
life down for your wife.
There is a paradox in a marriage that is hidden and also
forbidden by God... Once you have given your vows to your wife;
which is also a commitment to your wife, to God, and even to
yourself - you are not ever consider a divorce. Not under any
circumstances or for any reason; unless it is adultery. And then
- you should look into yourself and ask why she had turned to
A woman by nature will fight for her relationship; especially for
her marriage and her husband. The battle she fights literally
tears her heart apart. And if you - the husband - is not giving
her credit for the fight of keeping your relationship together;
then you need to turn to Jesus and ask Him why? And I am sure He
will tell you it is because of your pride, and/or ego; or even
If you are in the battlefield and fighting for your marriage
also; then there are several things you must understand. For one,
this will not be an overnight success; especially if your wife
had lost her trust in you. And if your marriage is on the verge
of a divorce - then be prepared for at lest a 40 day battle to
even be looking at reconciliation from your wife. If you had not
ever seen the movie "Fireproof" then I suggest that you
do so. This movie will give you a great insight of what you are
up against. This battle you are fighting will take much patience
and prayers. And if your heart is in the right relationship with
God - then He will help you every step of the way.
One important circumstance you must always be aware of and that
is the enemy of your soul (Satan). He is the father of lies and
believe me - he will do all he can to destroy your marriage. He
will place lies into your thoughts and into your heart if you let
him. Always be aware of what Satan is doing in the attempt to
destroy you, your wife, and even your children. Do not believe
anything negative about your wife while you are in battle to save
your marriage - and once your marriage is saved - then never
again believe the lies that Satan will attempt to place into your
The 10 Commandments below will give you the leverage you need to
save your marriage; and forever keep your marriage and
relationship with your wife healthy and alive:
Thou shall not take thy wife for granted, but will honor and
respect her as thy equal. (1 Pet 3:7)
Husband, are you treating your wife as an equal and granting her
your highest honor? If not; God says he will not answer your
prayers! Selfishness is a marriage killer. For many men they
think they are better than their wife simply because they are
men. These men have made a serious judgment error. Husbands, tell
your wife how important and valuable she is to you. Watch for the
loving smile on her face when you do! Proverbs says, "An
excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack
of gain." Prov 31:10-11 Notice how the wise husband trusts
his wife's judgments and realize how fortunate he is to have
Thy highest allegiance, except God, shall be to thy wife, not
thy relatives or friends. (Gen 2:24)
How often does the husband honor his blood family over his own
wife? Such is a recipe for disaster! In-law problems are often
the result of a husband who allows his mother and father to
interfere in his relationship with his wife.
Thou shall frequently tell thy wife how important and valuable
she is to thee. (Phil 2:3; Prov 31:10-11)
God gave women the authority to make important decisions too:
They are workers in and managers of the home:
(Greek: oijkodespotevw "to rule/manage the house")
(Greek: oikodespotes literally, "house ruler")
A wife's judgment can be better than her husbands: 1 Sam
Sleepless in Seattle (movie) Radio commentator asks man who was
missing his dead wife, "Tell me about your wife".
"How many hours do you have?" Immediately 3000 single
women jammed the radio station switchboard trying to get his
number for a date! Why? Because he was sincerely praising his
wife! Why did they want to date a complete stranger? Because the
one thing they knew was that this man possessed the rare quality
of praising his female companion. If he did it for his former
wife - he would do it for them! "Brevity may be the soul of
wit, but not when someone's saying "I love you.,'
When someone's saying "I love you," he always ought
to give a lot of details: Why does he love you? How much does he
love you? When and where did he first begin to love you?
Favorable comparisons with all other women he ever loved are also
welcome. And even though he insists it would take forever to
count the ways in which he loves you, let him start
Thou shall hold thy wife's love by the same means that
thou won it. (SOS 5:10-16)
Men pursue their future bride with doting ceaseless attention.
Once married the husband views marriage as a goal accomplished an
on to other of life's challenges. He then gives his ceaseless
doting attention to the job, the boys or anything but his wife.
She on the other hand viewed marriage not as a goal met, but as
the beginning of a relationship. She viewed his doting attention
as a down payment of attentions to come. He viewed it as a means
to merely get her to say "I DO".
This guy really WON the love of his future wife. He looked good
because he groomed his appearance for her. He smelled good,
because he regularly bathed and gargled. And he spoke words of
"sweetness" to his love. But give many husbands a few
years of marriage and they let their appearance and hygiene slip.
But worst of all the sweetness towards their wife is gone. The
wife proclaims to her friends, "Did he ever change after we
said 'I do'!" Guys, if you want the nights to be
hot, you best start warming up your wife in the day with words of
kindness. Buy your wife flowers on a regular basis.
Thou shall actively establish family discipline with thy
wife's help. (2 Timothy 3:15; Ephesians 6:4; Deuteronomy
Few would argue that the wife is the primary parent involved in
the daily task of interacting with the children. But God has
placed the father as the head of the household and that means
that you must work hard along side of your wife in establishing
family discipline. Many fathers leave the majority of the work of
raising the kids up to the wife. In child custody cases, the
mother almost always get control of the kids, not because she is
a better parent, but because she is the one who has been most
involved with them. God commands fathers in Ephesians 6:4
"And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but
bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the
Lord." You must be directly involved with your children. And
then be careful not to "provoke" them to anger, because
you have not really taken the time to understand exactly what
happened and why. Some fathers alienate their children because
they hastily dish out too harsh a punishment because they want to
get back to their TV show or reading the paper. To these
husbands, children are an interruption imposed upon him by the
wife. Sad indeed.
Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he
will not depart from it. Prov 22:6
"PLEASE, DADDY, WON'T YOU GO?"
A little girl's bright shining eyes with face aglow,
Says: "Daddy, It's time for church-Let's Go!
They teach us there of Jesus' love, of how he died for
Upon the cruel cross to save those who on Him will
"Oh, no," said Daddy, "Not today. I've worked
hard all week,
And I must have one day of rest; and I'm going to the
For there I can relax and rest; and fishing is fine they say.
So run along; don't bother me, we'll go to church some
Well months and years have passed away,
but Daddy hears that plea no more;
"Let's go to Bible school." Those childhood days
And Daddy's grown old, life's almost through,
He finds time to go to church, but what does daughter do?
She says: "Oh Daddy, not today-I stayed up half the
I know you know that church can wait...you understand my
Then Daddy lifts a trembling hand to brush away the tears,
As again he hears the pleading voice, distinctly through the
He sees a small girl's shining face upturned, with eyes
As she says, "It's time for Bible school; please, Daddy,
won't you go?"
Thou shall remember to do all the little things for thy wife
when you say you will. (Mt 5:37)
Jesus instructs all Christians, "let your statement be,
'Yes, yes' or 'No, no' and anything beyond these
is of evil." Mt 5:37. Husbands, when you say you will do
something for your wife, have the consideration to do it! Why
should she justifiably nag you? Your wife shouldn't have to
get you to sign some binding oath to get you to make the bed,
take out the garbage or take her out to dinner as you agreed. By
doing what you say you will, you earn her trust in other areas.
Ever wonder why your wife reacts is a funny way?
When the wife feels insecure - The husband is not being a
When the wife takes matters into her own hands and assumes the
leadership role - The husband has allowed problems to continue
and even get worse.
When the children rebel, the wife blames her husband. - The
husband has not supported his wife in disciplining the
When the wife becomes resentful of financial pressures - The
husband has been spending extra money on things he enjoys.
When the wife feels inferior and jealous - The husband praises or
admires other women.
When the wife feels unable to totally give herself (body, soul
and spirit) to her husband - The husband only verbalizes his love
when he wants a physical relationship.
When the wife feels frustration from not knowing how to please
her husband - The husband doesn't praise her for specific
When the wife turns to others who will listen to her true
feelings - The husband doesn't make the time to listen to his
When the wife feels unprotected - The husband has not been alert
to the dangers which his wife faces.
When the wife feels inadequate in trying to meet her
husband's physical needs - The husband has been lusting after
When a wife mentally gives up and loses all hope - The husband is
prideful, never in the wrong, loses his temper to stay in control
and never asks for forgiveness.
Keep thine eyes on thy own wife, not thy neighbors. (Prov
5:15-20; Job 31:1; Jer 5:8)
Proverbs says it this way, "Drink water from your own
cistern, And fresh water from your own well... Let her breasts
satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her
love." Prov 5:15-20 The ultimate sacrifice that a woman
makes in child bearing is her figure. And the media is filled
with 17 year old models who are not yet graduated high school and
never done a hard days work in their life! Job was wise when he
said, "I Have made a covenant with my eyes; How then could I
gaze at a virgin?"
Job 31:1 But we find that for many, the words of Jeremiah apply,
"They were well-fed lusty horses, Each one neighing after
his neighbor's wife." Jer 5:8
Thou shall make every effort to see things from thy wife's
point of view. (Gen 21:12)
Abraham is a man whose wife actually called him "lord".
Sarah had an insight on a personal family matter and Abraham felt
that she was wrong. "But God said to Abraham, "Do not
be distressed because of the lad and your maid; whatever Sarah
tells you, listen to her" Gen 21:12. Did you catch that? God
told Abraham to obey his wife! He had not taken the time to see
things from her point of view. Husbands and wives often live and
think in different worlds. A wise husband will "listen"
to his wife before God steps in and forces him to. Foolish
husbands are arrogant "power-trippers" who know it all,
refuse to listen to their wife and fall flat on their face.
"Live with her in an understanding way since she is a
woman" 1 Pe 3:7
Best thing for man is to think as woman and then
"maybe" - you can understand her heart; and only if
your heart is in the right place, will the big picture become
Thou shall not fail to kiss thy wife every morning. (SOS
Do you know why the "kiss and ride" commuter drop off
area's are so popular? Just ask the wives who drop off their
husbands for work. A recent TV program documented that the wives
loved it. Here they had a "legitimate" reason to expect
a kiss from their husband. Husband, when you leave the house for
work, give her a kiss. When you come home, tell her you love her
and give her another kiss. Here, in the Song of Solomon, a future
wife speaks of her love and desire for a kiss. "If I found
you outdoors, I would kiss you; No one would despise me,
either." Sos 8:1
Thou shall not be stingy with thy wife when it comes to money.
King Ahasuerus was married to Queen Esther. Look how generous he
was with his wife! He said to her, "What is troubling you,
Queen Esther? And what is your request? Even to half of the
kingdom it will be given to you." (Esther 5:3)
Now in modern marriage law, many might wonder why this man is
being praised for giving his wife the half that already belonged
to her. However, back then this was an incredible offer of
generosity! How many wives have to grovel and beg for a few
dollars while he lavishly spends on himself?
God's Love From Genesis Through
I have been
misrepresented by those who don't know me.
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of
(1 John 4:16)
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
(1 John 3:1)
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father.
(1 John 3:1)
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
For I am the perfect father.
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the
And I rejoice over you with singing.
I will never stop doing good to you.