PAINTING PICTURES WITH WORDS
To truly learn the art of communicating with your wife you need to learn the art of using more 'picture' words and images in your language. Panting a picture with words takes practice and a fluent imaginary mind. You have to always remember - when you are in conversation with your wife; the canvas is your wife's mind, the paint brush is your own thoughts, but you are holding the brush.
Great speakers use images a lot. Think of a great speaker. I'll bet they use imagery and descriptive language to bring their words to life. Take Dr Martin Luther King's 'I Have A Dream' speech as an example. Dr King uses strong imagery throughout:
"Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood."
The inclusion of those words means that you cannot help but create a picture in your mind that is so powerful. Who can hear that and NOT think of the contrast between the dark desolation or a valley and a sunlit path?
Great speakers like Dr King don't tell you how to think or feel - they use words to paint pictures in your mind's eye that will allow you to feel it for yourself. And this is the way you must learn to communicate with your wife. Let her feel for herself what you are saying with the brush you are painting with.
Metaphors are often used to really hook an idea in the mind. Winston Churchill used the term 'Iron Curtain' to describe the misery and bleakness separating one half of Europe from the other in the post war years. The Soviet Union and America didn't just have a disagreement - they had a 'Cold War'. Mohammed Ali described himself as 'Floating Like a Butterfly, stinging like a bee' - these metaphors help to create powerful pictures that connect what the speaker is talking about with an image.
Another way that images can be woven into your feelings of words are through stories. Stories are our currency as human beings - all of our entertainment; be it films, television or even music are based around stories. Years ago, before we had television and films and before we even lived in cities, people would communicate, make connections with one another and entertain themselves through telling stories. If you can wrap your main points up in a story, with a human interest, then you're onto a winner.
It's something that is inherent in all of us - we just usually forget a bit about it along the way, getting lost in the 'dry' and 'grey' world of priorities. The good news is that you can rediscover your ability to tell stories and use imagery very easily. Think about why the information you're going to say to your wife is important - what's the human face of it? Why should she care? What's the story behind it? What can the benefits be?
But what picture you paint depends not only on you but also on the listener; your wife. As it is if your wife is painting pictures with words. Unless you listen very carefully you can get a fragmented or jumbled or distorted picture.
Like a television transmission, the picture is only as good as the receiver. In this case, the receiver is in the head of the listener.
The picture is received through the ears and is projected onto the mind. But if our ears (our receivers) are not tuned correctly, then your minds receive a faulty image.
Do you know why some people never get filled with the Holy Spirit? They have never heard enough words to produce the correct image in their minds and hearts.
Do you know why some people never get healed? Because they have simply never gotten the picture...they have never seen the Lord Jesus walk down inside them, take up that disease, bear it on His own back, and walk away with it.
If they could ever get that picture down on the inside of them, they would realize, "Glory to God, it's gone. I don't have it anymore. I'm healed!" And they would be.
Words paint pictures. Many people are constantly in turmoil because we Christians have painted the wrong picture for them. We have not instructed them in line with the Word of God.
People want to receive the Holy Spirit. And we give them confusing and contradictory word pictures. We paint them the wrong image, and get them doing the wrong thing.
This happens all because somebody is saying words to them, utilizing that law over them incorrectly, giving them the wrong mental picture. Because of this they go about trying to receive in the wrong way. And neither of us understands why it isn't "working."
So it is important to utilize the right words of painting the picture you want to project. If you are angry with your wife for one reason or another - do you think you could paint a beautiful picture for her? Of course not. But if you are calm and have your mind in the right set - you can paint a very beautiful picture for her with words alone.... Words can paint a picture in any attitude that your mind is set in.... So remember - if you are angry so will be your words and they will scatter the canvas with many colors that does not make any sense to her at all. So when you speak with your wife about anything that is bothering you; then do so calmly, and engage your wife and take her on a journey with you.... Just as Jesus did with parables.