God is ever
present with you, no matter what you may be experiencing or
feeling. He is present in all your trouble (Psalms 46:1). He is
not bound by your emotions or situations. He is your ever adoring
and loving Father who delights in you every moment of your life
(1 John 3:1). He particularly enjoy your times of quiet rest.
Your times of respite are very precious to Him and enables Him to
speak in ways He otherwise could not.
"Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of
God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and
thereby many be defiled." (Hebrews 12:15)
believe one of the saddest things in a marriage is that man is
irresponsible in getting a real grip unto his wife's heart.
Women are wired entirely different from man and God made it that
way for a good reason. It is through a woman's heart that
discernment is greater than man's. She knows when there is
something wrong when man cannot even begin to see any problems in
a marriage. Man's pride and ego will not allow him to see
problems because he is Mr. Macho; and he has no faults according
to his own standards.
Man has no tolerance of being wrong and mostly because of his own
insecurities; And yes - you do have insecurities - especially in
your relationship with your wife. Women are more domineering in a
relationship because she has the capacity to discern all problems
within a marriage; problems with your children; and even problems
within yourself - and though you will not admit it - it is
One major characteristic of a failed marriage is control. The one
who is controlling has to be right. They have no tolerance for
being wrong and will rarely, if ever, admit to wrongdoing. This
is known as a Jezebel spirit.
This spirit is deadly and a killer in a marriage or any
relationship. And what is sad - most people living with this
spirit does not realize they possess it. So I suggest very
strongly that you and your wife sit down together and read what I
have written In regards of a Jezebel spirit before moving on with
the bitter-roots. This spirit may not be responsible for your
marriage failing but, it can be a source of understanding in
how this deadly spirit could be a root in the failure.
So let's look at some of the CHARACTERISTICS OF THE JEZEBEL
In the books of Psalms and Proverbs readers are introduced to a
pathetic character, the fool. Fools are not necessarily
uneducated. Nor are fools merely "silly," that is
playful and funny. Fools are individuals who deny the existence
of God. (Psalm 14:1). Or presumes God will not judge them-the
fear of the Lord is absent-opening the door to their own
destruction. Fools are stubborn; arrogant; and shortsighted.
(Proverbs 19:3; 26:11; 28:26). Folly is dangerous; it ends with
God's judgment (Psalm 53).
There is a tendency in everyone to play the part of the fool.
Consider these aspects of foolishness and see if any applies to
you. Do you interrupt people in conversation (Proverbs 18:2, 13)?
Do you ignore anger (Proverbs 14:16; 29:11)? Do you still find
pleasure in wrongdoing (Proverbs 10:23)? If so - then they are
part of your bitter roots.
The bitter roots in your life are a stronghold that must be dealt
with and destroyed. Even if you were to restore your marriage
through your wife's forgiveness - if the bitter roots in your
life are still within your heart - then eventually you will
totally destroy your wife and your marriage; this is without
The law applies not only to our conscious actions, known and
performed outwardly, but also to what is lodged in our heart,
repressed, unknown and unexpressed. Once formed, judgments must
bring results. Bitter roots, not brought to the cross, must
defile. Bitter roots are perhaps the most powerful negative
forces in our lives, bringing destruction not only to us but also
to those around us.
See to it that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble,
and by it many be defiled. (Hebrews 12:15)
This scripture reveals the depth and power of bitter root
judgments - the driving force behind the recurring patterns of
trouble and/or destruction in our lives. The power of bitter
roots comes from the unchangeable laws of God, which cause us to
reap in kind what we have sown. Bitter root judgments are far
more powerful than bitter root expectancies. Judgments operate by
God's Laws; whereas repeated incidents form patterns of
expectancy which operate only on the psychological level. But
judgments and expectancies both rob us of the abundant life Jesus
came to give us.
The root of a tree gives life:
In a tree or plant, a root is an underground, hidden structure,
which is a conduit for nourishment. For us "roots" are
habitual ways we drink nurture from God, others, nature and
ourselves. Our roots also lie beneath the surface, usually hidden
to the adult mind and to the heart. If we have bitter roots, we
drink harm to our selves.
What are bitter roots, or bitter root
Bitter roots are not:
- They are our sinful reactions to
circumstances that occur in our lives.
- They are condemning judgments of
- They are the inability or
refusal to forgive someone.
- They are the operations of the
unchangeable Laws of God, which cause us to reap in kind what we
Hurtful or terrible things that happen to us, nor are they the
sins of those who have wronged us. They are our sinful responses
to those things that have happened to us, planted deeply within
us due to our refusal or inability to forgive.
Bitter roots infect the mind with expectancies:
Bitter root expectancy is a psychological practice in our lives.
It is a habit of a self-fulfilling prophecy, by which we
"push" people to fulfill our picture of the way things
The following is
an example of bitter root expectancy
- "Women will
always be controlling."
can't be depended upon."
- "No one ever
listens to me."
A man is brought up by a critical mother, he feeling wounded and
rejected, learns to protect his heart by withdrawing from her.
His experiences with mother form a picture of "women."
When he marries, he fears pain and of vulnerability and
consciously (or unconsciously) projects his expectations onto his
wife, holding her at a distance. She is lonely and appeals to him
to share with her. He interprets this as criticism (whether it is
or not), and pulls farther away. He criticizes her attempts to
break through the walls of his heart.
Judgments and expectancies:
The judgment is the seed planted in childhood and it may be
forgotten by the one whom has made the judgment. It is after the
child has grown, that the bitter root expectation comes into
play. The example of the critical mother and the boy who judged
her, there by judging all women that they will all be critical
and that the boy will have to protect his heart. He will reap
through his wife and other women, what he experienced with his
The origin of bitter root judgments and bitter root
expectations normally start with parents:
They can also start with other persons in our youth such as
grandparents and teachers. The judgments are the seeds sown and
the bitter root expectation is the vehicle that brings the
judgments to fruition. Sown in childhood and brought to fruition
in our relationships with spouse, authority, society, and even
with Father God. We ultimately get what we expect from all of the
above. If they are not eager to play, we find a way to push
enough buttons to get them to give us what we expect.
Who is responsible and accountable?
WE ARE! God holds us accountable for our sinful reactions to what
has taken place in our life. We are guilty but not condemned.
Guilt is the friend that brings us to the cross, and thus to
healing and transformation.
That bitter root judgments and expectations are so common that
they must be checked for as routinely as a doctor checks blood
pressure and temperature.
IF THERE IS THE FRUIT, THEN THERE IS A ROOT! (Luke 6:43;
Treatment of "Bitter Roots" ... CLICK HERE for a
better understanding of Bitter-Roots.
You must first recognize those roots - I do mean all of them -
and how they affected your live and the lives of those around
you; especially your wife. You have to choose to repent, by
determining to stop patterns by hauling judgments and
expectations to the cross of Jesus in prayer.
The prayers must be specific, focused, Spirit-led, prayers of
forgiveness (Prayers of death Luke 9: 23, 24). You must speak
forgiveness at the age of the judgment. Praying out loud, your
forgiveness for mom or dad for judging, resentment, hating. Ask
God to forgive you for perpetuating those attitudes in your
present relationship with your wife. (John 20: 23)
Now that you understand "Bitter Roots" lets search your
heart in finding all the bitter roots of your life.
You have to do an extensive study on your heart. Pull up verses
containing the word heart in your Bible; or even Bible software,
if you have one. As you began to go through them meditate on them
one by one. Ask the Lord to show you anything that is in your
heart that was causing problems in your marriage. "Watch
over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs
of life" (Proverbs 4:23). What is in our hearts is what
flows out into your lives and with others.
I strongly encourage you to examine your heart thoroughly and ask
the Lord to show you if there is anything that needs to be
uprooted. The root of bitterness will destroy a marriage. You
could very well be taking all your past hurt out on your wife.
You could be judging her by what others had done to you. It could
be every time she would do something that would hurt your
feelings or just be human and maybe not be as sensitive as she
could be. But to you it felt like she had just stabbed you with a
butcher knife. In all actuality, she was just being a human being
who makes mistakes. But because of the bitter root that is still
within your heart it seemed like a mountain instead of the mole
hill it really is. Gentlemen, examine your hearts and let the
Lord uproot any bitterness towards women. I am speaking this to
men but, of course, women can have bitterness towards man as
well. So let the Lord do the surgery on your heart. He is the
Great Physician, you know. He never misdiagnosis and His
surgeries are always a 100% success. We just have to be willing
to allow Him to do it.
Love From Genesis Through The Revelation.
Insert here I have
come to you today to open some more layers of truth and dismantle
any overshadowing from the enemy through lies, wrong
self-perception, pride or fear. I have come to give you life
abundant this moment. Before you receive keep this in mind, Rome
wasn't built in a day. They didn't quit building because
it couldn't be done in a day. Don't think about how you
have done this before and haven't seen the change or
fulfillment you long for. Why not try a whole new way looking at
things? Why not just assume (to do so would be the 100% correct
thing to do) a good thing will take place - assume help has come
and progress is made whether you see it immediately or