"Serving God's Word On Saving Your Marriage"

If you need assistance - please CLICK HERE to send an email.

"The time has come for you to walk on water. You are My water walker and this is what you must meditate on above all you see, feel or hear from any other source. Hear Me, believe Me, and proclaim only what I say and your crack in the sky shall become an open heaven."

"And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light" (Colossians 1:10-12)

Spirit of the heart:

When God created Adam and Eve, He blessed them with sufficient knowledge and ability to thrive in successful loving relationship with Him, themselves, and the rest of God's creation. The Lord God was an intimate friend who walked together with them in the Garden of Eden, which was their home. They existed in a pure state of harmonious relationship with God whereas intellectual delights and satisfactions were, most certainly, in abundance.

But God had given Adam and Eve the freedom to choose: whether to love and trust Him in humility and obedience or reject Him through prideful unbelief and self-determination. (For God knew that we must choose to trust Him, in order to truly love Him). So, God made an opportunity for them to demonstrate their trust in Him to provide every good and necessary thing for fullness of life. God commanded them:

"You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." (Genesis 2:16-17)

Now the serpent also spied an opportunity in this. And he approached Eve in an effort to generate discontent with her present state of being. About eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, the devil suggested to Eve: "You will not surely die...For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil". (Genesis 3:4-5)

The devil hoped that Eve would accept his implication that God was struggling with a selfish and paranoid insecurity and had deliberately deprived her of something wonderful that would make her equal in knowledge to God. (As though God might be concerned that, by the attainment of sufficient knowledge, His creation might rival Him.) But Eve, imprudently entertaining the temptation before her, came to believe this lie and by doing so, she chose to abandon the accurate and true knowledge she had possessed regarding the goodness and holiness of God.

The devil's successful plan was to initiate a godless self-determination within Eve, by encouraging a selfish ambition for personal advancement. Interestingly, these are the same sins of which the devil himself was guilty in his initial rebellion against God. And these are the same sins the devil commonly tempts us with today (Matt. 4:1-11; Acts 5:1-11).

Lies are The Doorway to Temptation

A lie, once believed, has a way of increasing, through the agency of vain imagination, the desirability of that which is evil. Because Eve believed a supposed truth based on imperfect knowledge and derived from an ungodly source, she became vulnerable to the cosmetically deceptive allure of ungodly temptation. (As true for us today as it was for Eve)

When Eve believed the lie, a very dangerous dynamic began to take place. A dynamic that repeats itself over and over again in the lives of many relationships today. As she believed the lie that God did not have her best interests at heart, her positive feelings toward God began to diminish and the strength of the temptation began to increase. The temptation now appeared to contain multi-level enticements that were seemingly irresistible:

"When the woman saw that the fruit was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her and he ate it". (Genesis 3:6)

Once again: a lie, once believed, has a way of increasing, through the agency of vain imagination, the desirability of that which is evil. Just as with Adam and Eve, it is lies that we believe that cause the temptation to sin to have such power in our lives. Our susceptibility to temptation will always be proportionate to the depth and strength of the lies we believe in our inner being. Root out the lies by repenting of them and surrendering them to be destroyed by the power of the Holy Spirit and the strength of the temptations associated with the lies will greatly diminish!

Most lies are ultimately rooted in an active disbelief in the goodness and provision of God. And so it is within a marriage. When this active disbelief in the goodness and provision of God was first exercised by Adam and Eve, the nature of man and all of creation underwent a ruinous transformation. These are some of the changes that have occurred in the nature of man:

"The understanding is darkened" (Eph. 4:18; 1 Cor. 2:14); "the heart is deceitful and wicked" (Jer. 17:9-10); "the mind and conscience are defiled" (Gen. 6:5; Titus 1:15); "the flesh and spirit are defiled" (2 Cor. 7:5); "the will is enfeebled" (Rom. 7:18); "and we are utterly destitute of any God-like qualities which meet the requirements of God's holiness" (Rom. 7:18). And as for the world and man's interaction with it, God declared:

"Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food..." (Gen. 3:17-19).

If we were able to examine the intent of the heart of Adam and Eve at that very moment, that terrible moment of giving in to this first temptation, I believe we would clearly see a reflection of the attitude of the heart of all of humanity from that day forward. If we were to summarize into a single statement the intent of the heart of Adam and Eve at the time of their temptation, that statement could accurately represent the intent of the heart of every man and woman born into this world from that day forward. For what Adam and Eve essentially declared by the choice they had made in believing the devil's lie, was - man must reach out with his own hands and take whatever he needs for fulfillment of self. This is what is meant by "an active disbelief in the goodness and provision of God." Man, from the delusion of his corrupted nature, believes in his heart that he must take what he has determined he needs, because God will not provide this for him.

This corrupted attitude of the heart has become the basic belief system enthusiastically embraced by the whole of sinful humanity since that day. And amazingly, those who are most proficient at bringing to fruition this corrupted attitude of the heart are showered with admiration and adulation. We raise up as heroes, as little gods, those who are the most effective at reaching out with their own hands and taking whatever they believe they need for fulfillment of self. This is what we define as success. Our society worships the materialistically successful, self-determined man. And we are all encouraged in many ways throughout our lives to strive to be like him or her.

The delusion that fulfillment of self is found primarily in the determination of our own wills has now become the daily motivating force within most people's lives. Every television commercial, every advertisement, virtually every school book read by our children, and almost every person we speak to and nearly every workplace atmosphere throughout the world continuously reinforce the deception that we can, and must, acquire by our own efforts what is necessary for fulfillment of "self". It is what we believe as we get out of bed in the morning and it is what we believe when we lie down again at night.

And that too is a lie!

Adam and Eve believed the devil's implication that God was keeping them from what they really needed (Genesis 3:4-5). And they believed that acquiring knowledge from a source other than God (the tree of the knowledge of good and evil) could make them more "like God." This active disbelief in the goodness and provision of God has developed into a universal mentality that has become intricately woven into the tapestry of the sin nature of mankind to this day (Rom. 1:18-32; 1 Tim. 1:3-7 and 4:1-8; 2 Tim. 3:1-5; 2 Cor. 11:3-6).

Ever since his descent into sin, man has succumbed to the prideful delusion that by leaning on his own understanding, he can overcome the effects of the sin curse on himself and the world around him. Man strives to accomplish this by using techniques and methods developed through information he has gathered throughout his history of struggling for survival in this sin-darkened world.

Whenever, by human invention, a scientific or medical breakthrough occurs, making our lives substantially safer or easier; we will characterize it as "a miracle"! The knowledge accumulated from each successful endeavor to restrain or subdue the effects of the original sin curse upon humanity is carefully preserved for future reference in books, magazines, computers etc. The knowledge we compile is greatly treasured and, in our limited understanding, we look to it as a source of hope, a source of pride, even a source of life. As Jesus cautioned:

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also". (Matthew 6:21)

Man's Impure Motives

Pride in human reasoning will always emanate from a practiced dependence upon humanistic knowledge. This pride even enters the religious community enticing many people to believe that their dedication and sacrifice at work, or in their family, church, or community will be viewed as an adequate compensation for their sins before God. They have equated the profitability of their efforts with personal righteousness. But, of course, this is not God's view. As Psalm 51:16-17 reveals:

"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise".

and also,

"but Israel, who pursued a law of righteousness, has not attained it." Why not? "Because they pursued it not by faith but as if it were by works". (Rom. 9:30-10:4)

Our Creator is not impressed by our attempts to justify or sanctify ourselves by the use of personal effort based on worldly knowledge. Though our efforts and sacrifices may not in themselves be altogether ignoble, our motives behind those efforts are often suspect. As Proverbs 16:2 informs us, "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord".

The shrewd practical usage of worldly knowledge can bring financial reward, social acclaim, physical well-being, or even enhanced self-esteem. And, the truth be told, as long as we are able to successfully secure the comfort of these kind of temporary benefits by relying on the "little god" of our own knowledge and efforts, there is little incentive to examine the motivation of the heart. The most accurate and telling resource available to us for the discernment of motives is the word of God:

For the word of God is living and active.... it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Every thing is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. (Hebrews 4:12-13)

It is not only what we accomplish with the knowledge we possess, but also why we accomplish it, that is important to the Lord. According to the word of God, we are to do all things for the glory of God (1 Cor. 10:31). Yet God is certainly aware that apart from the supernatural transformation of our souls by sanctification through our faith in Christ Jesus, it is never our priority to glorify Him. As it is written:

"There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one". (Romans 3:10-12)

Our stubborn and desperate dependence on worldly knowledge has only helped to blind our eyes to God's plan of restoration through the knowledge of Him. God offers us this instructional promise: "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness"(2 Peter 1:3)

His plan is to restore us, through our faith in the sacrifice of Christ Jesus and by the workings of the power of the Holy Spirit, to intimate relationship with Him; and also with your wife. By repenting of your presumptuous and vain dependence on temporal knowledge, you are able, by faith, to enter into a process of spiritual transformation. As Colossians 3:9-10 reveals: "you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator".

In His mercy and love, God is offering a restoration to you, bringing you into intimate relationship with Him, through a spiritual transformation of self. But, once again, you are free to select the fruit of our choice... Death, sin, shame, every kind of disease, wars, heartache, natural disasters, genocide, prejudice; these are some of the bitter fruits you have tasted from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Or, you may now choose the fruit of the Tree of Life which is produced by the Spirit: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control".(Gal. 5:22-23)

This is what the Lord says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight, declares the Lord".(Jeremiah 9:23-24)

The primary building block of society is the biblical based male - female family unit. It is what separates us from a complete social and spiritual breakdown. Without it we are threatened with an unrestricted immoral free for all of hate, lust and selfishness not unlike that of Sodom and Gomorrah. Satan hates marriage and loves divorce. It allows him to curse the minds and hearts of all involved, turning what once was love into hate, bitterness and deceit.

When God designed Adam and Eve, He knew what choices our race, and what we as individuals would make. He created mankind, as both male and female, making each sex different, but in complementary ways. Where one sex was weak He made the other strong. That is why "opposites attract" in courtship. However, because of our fallen natures, these same beneficial differences between a man and his wife will always become the basis for friction, disagreement and estrangement without the sanctifying influence of the Holy Spirit. When mankind fell and inherited a sinful predisposition, the basis for a balanced, equal relationship between male and female fell with it. The resultant separation caused by sin broke not only the backbone of the intimate friendship between God and man, but also between a man and wife. The seeds of unrepentant sin and the full-grown death crop it produces are always at the center of every broken home. Behind each divorce lie the broken laws and the rejected love of God. This is why there can be no solution to the present collapse of morality within the Church except by the pure application of the Word of God, through the power of the Holy Spirit. Nothing else will do!

The Moral Law of God

The moral laws of God are still in effect and the standard of all those who follow Christ. They prohibit sex with animals, homosexuality, incest and adultery. They also speak against stealing, cheating, lying, swearing falsely, slander, witchcraft, divination, seeking revenge, and bearing a grudge. It starts out saying:

"If you obey my laws and regulations, you will find life through them." (Leviticus 18:5)

Saved by Grace

What this all means is that if we try to keep any law in order to be justified before God, it is not good enough. In order to be saved by keeping the law, we must then keep all the laws perfectly from the moment we were conceived until the moment we die. That is impossible! No one who ever lived would qualify except Jesus Christ. That is the point.

Salvation is only from the Grace of God through the atoning death of Jesus Christ our Lord. But as Jesus said, the moral law of God as expressed in the Scriptures is still in effect. "Do not defile yourself by having sexual intercourse with your neighbor's wife" (Leviticus 18:), "Do not have intercourse with your brother's wife, this would violate your brother." (Leviticus 18:16), "Never seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone, but love your neighbor as yourself." (Leviticus 19:18).

So, if you are contemplating divorce I would begin to think of other options. You are not only opening the door to sin for yourself - but also unto your wife.

Until we hate divorce as God hates it in Malachi, the Church is on an opposing side, fighting God! God does not allow divorce and remarriage for anyone! It is not within His revealed, permissible will. All the wishful thinking to the contrary, no matter how much it disagrees with what is commonly taught and practiced, regardless of how it may limit our own choices, it is strictly forbidden by the Word of God under any circumstances. Jesus said:

"Don't imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! No, I came to bring a sword. I have come to part asunder a man from his father, and a daughter from her mother, and a married wife from her mother-in-law. And man's foe will be they of his own household. If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. If you cling to your life you will lose it; but if you give it up for me, you will find it". (Matthew 10:34-39)

Just as Adam and Eve had to learn - so does husband and wife. Scriptures clearly states that man is completely responsible for his wife on every level of her life - especially her marriage to you. But there are many circumstances in a marriage that must be resolved on a daily bases. Marriage is an institution created by God that consistently needs nourishment, nurtured, and building upon each and every single day.... And so you may know; your marriage to your wife is your career - not your J.O.B.. Your marriage is your life and responsibility from the moment you said "I Do" and until death. Most men will place other priorities over their wife. And if you are guilty of this then learn real fast that your wife IS your first and only priority. Under any circumstances or situation do you attempt to place your sins upon your wife as Adam attempted to do with Eve. If you do; then God will stop you dead in your tracks. You are guilty of your own sins. Though you may feel your wife is responsible for bringing on your sins - may it be anger; discontentment; lack of love; low-esteem; self-worthiness; or any other negative feelings you may have - just remember; you are the one that has the choice in making the right choices on saving your marriage. According to God - your feelings are squat compare to your counter part. Just turn to God and He will show you the way - the right way.

God's Love From Genesis Through The Revelation.

How well do I know you? I knew you before time was I knew ever speck of dust and water it would take to make you. When I created Adam from the dust of the earth I was already intimately acquainted with every speck - acquainted with every cell of your physical being and every essence of your spiritual being. To know you is to love you. It is as simple as that.

Know this without a doubt, My living water flows in and through you to reshape your land - to reshape your way of thinking. I reshape all things until they line up with My intended design and purpose. How much easier it would be for Me if you just agreed regardless of what you see or feel. Many times you do and many times you don't. Don't forget My eternal Word and come into agreement with all I have told you. Eternity begins now.

Copyright © 2008 The Dove Alliance. All rights reserved.