Begin your 40 days I strongly suggest to watch this video
TO WATCH THIS MOVIE
|40 DAY JOURNEY
symbolize the death with oneself and the spiritual
When a couple has spent most of their lives together with
complete "unconditional" love for one another; it is a
known fact that when one spouse dies - the other passes over
shortly after from a broken heart. Neither one of the
couple's can live one day without the other. Can you even
begin to imagine this kind of love?
I can - and so will you - in time.
It is the true love of God placed in each of their hearts. It is
a love that cannot find fault in either one. It is a love form
from the very existence of God with Divine purity. A love that is
undying and lives on through eternity. Even after death!
And now - I am going to challenge each of you men on a journey
that will last 40 days. This challenge will bring out the truth
within your own heart - it will reveal just how strong your love
is for you wife. Or should I say: if "The Power Of
Love" in your heart is stronger than you are.... And if that
power is weak - then you will not make it through this journey.
If your love is strong then you will restore your marriage and
bring your wife into a glory unknown to man but only to God. If
you are successful on this journey then you will Glorify God on
every level of your marriage. This includes yourself; your wife;
and your children.
At the end of each day there is a link to click on that will
bring up a new window with more information, scriptures, and
added challenges. This devotional guide is intended to lead you
on your own spiritual journey through God's Word, prayer, and
worship. Through this journey you are about to know Christ more
intimately, He is faithful to respond. I suggest you spend some
time asking God the following questions throughout the next 40
days and carefully listen for His voice. I am with you all the
Courageous Questions for Your Journey with God:
During each of the forty days, I
have suggested a scripture verse or passage for you to read,
followed by some ideas and questions to consider. One simple
suggestion I would like to make is that you incorporate keeping a
spiritual journal during this time. In the journal, RECORD the
ways in which the selected Bible verses RELATE to your life
journey with God and your marriage and how you might RESPOND in
prayer to what God's Word says to you that day. The questions
are intended to help guide you. I would also appreciate it if you
would REMEMBER to pray for me as I minister to marriages in
crisis during the next forty days. SO LET US BEGIN:
- Am I in
the center of Your will in every area of my life? In my
- What is
Your vision and purpose for my life?
- What is
hindering me from living out my purpose for You and my
- Here is a
list of my fears and concerns, Lord. How do you want to transform
these fears that paralyze my faith, into fears that mobilize my
- Am I
willingly participating in Your methods of refinement as well as
Your Divine time line for this process?
- Is there
an area in which I need to be broken? If so, reveal Your desire
and process of healing for me in this
- What's next on our Journey, Lord? Am I ready for
You to take me there? What do I still lack?
Today, hold your tongue. Refuse to say any unkind or
unnecessary word to your wife. Do not criticize her for
anything. It will be better if you do not say anything
than to say something that will, or could hurt. In other words;
if you have nothing nice and pleasant to say to her - then keep
your mouth shut.
In addition to continuing Challenge #1, add this today: Think
of a "random act of kindness" that you could do for
your wife. Do it without expecting anything in return. In this
way, you will truly be demonstrating selfless love.
REMEMBER: If you concentrate every day on this journey and the
reasons why that made you want to get married to your wife in the
first place, it will then be the most incredible adventure you
have ever experience.
Write a short love note. Leave it someplace conspicuous for
your wife to find.
As each day progresses it begins to show how serious you are to
continue the effort in bringing restoration to your marriage.
Your goal is that these things will become habits in the way you
respect and honor your wife. So; continue with Challenges #1
& 2 daily without failure and ADD # 3:
Make a list of 5 things you love and adore about your wife.
Sometime today, face-to-face, share your list with her.
There may be a temptation at this point to assume that this is
going to be too tough. Some may give up. But I hope that you can
remember previous times in your life when you experienced
victory. If you can, you know those times were tough along the
way, but your ultimate victory was well-worth the effort. So keep
it up! You know you'll be glad when the victory comes.
Contact your wife sometime today during the business of the
day. Carve out the time talking with her on the phone, email,
Facebook or text. Have no agenda other than asking how she is
doing and is there anything you could do for her.
Make and give your wife a "coupon" that must be
redeemed this weekend - preferably today or tonight. It could be
for a back rub, a foot massage, shampooing her hair, etc.
Now that you're under a little less stress, the weekend is
the "perfect" time to show your love to your wife. Make
plans now to make church attendance a central point in your
weekend plans. Nothing will substitute for growing together
spiritually. When you give yourself, the gesture lasts longer
than a purchased gift.
Write a short, serious poem about your love for your wife. It
can even be a "roses are red, violets are blue"
beginning. Express your true and sincere feelings. Buy your wife
her favorite bouquet of flower or roses - and friend - do not be
cheap about it either.
Pray with and for your wife today. In your prayer, thank God
for her, and ask God to bless her in a "specific"
You need to do some talking with your spouse today. Talk about
this next challenge together.
Identify and speak your wife's love language in specific
ways today. Talk to your wife about this and be sure you are
speaking the same language.
1. Words of Affirmation: Sharing encouraging, kind and humble
words. "The Tongue has the power of life and
2. Gift Giving / Receiving: "Give the gift of time to your
3. Quality Time: "The central aspect of quality time is
togetherness. Not proximity... togetherness has to do with
4. Physical Touch: "Your touch can communicate love or
hate"; hold your wife today with no expectation.
5. Acts of Service: "What you did prior to getting married
(a/k/a: your hook) must continue after marriage. Requests give
direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love."
From this day forward continue with challenge #8: Pray with and
for your wife today. In your prayer, thank God for her, and ask
God to bless her in a "specific" way. And make each day
"specifics" different daily.
Take a leisurely walk together. Perhaps you could do this at
the grocery store, Wal-mart, the Mall or your neighborhood. Hold
hands at least some of the time. Stop along the way and kiss your
beloved wife very tenderly.
Today, set aside some time for you and your wife to Dream
together. Dream about your future, or about a vacation. Set some
goals and dream about accomplishing them and what it would be
like. In dreaming, don't let negative thoughts of "it
can't be done", steal the moment.
This challenge takes a different turn from your previous
challenges... It focuses on you. Because in order to have healthy
marriage relationships, YOU must first be healthy. So, today,
what do YOU need to change about yourself? Tell your wife today
what you want to work on making changes about YOURSELF. Ask your
wife to help and encourage you.
You are going to make a difference in your marriage! Don't
give up, but rather dig in deeper! Now is the time to shake off
all the things that weigh you down and stay committed to your
NOTE: This is not future ammunition, but rather loving
encouragement to make the needed changes!
Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you
can spend quality time with your wife. Do something, or work
together on a project, that your wife would love to do. Then, in
doing it, ask yourself: What new thing did you learn (or relearn)
One of the most important things you should learn in this journey
is that you SHOULD NOT follow your heart. You need to LEAD your
heart. You will not always feel like loving. Remember: if you are
irritable, it is because you choose to be. Your attitude is your
choice! Today's challenge may be directing you to a real
change of heart. It is your responsibility to relearn what you
LOVE about your wife.
Today you get to be creative! Chose something (whether
it's something you do or something you say) that convinces
your wife that you "CHERISH" her. Be sure to ask her
later if you got the message across. Buy your wife a sentimental
gift that she would greatly appreciate.
We are now going into the 3rd week. And prayerfully you are
encourage - but again, discouragement can, and will birth as you
are being challenged so pause and think: If someone asked you why
you love your wife, what would be your answer? Personality?
Looks? Consistent character? Hard worker? Ect. Okay, but what if
over the years of your marriage your wife stopped having theses
characteristics? Would you stop loving her? The only way love can
last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The Truth . . .
Love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the
one choosing to love. Romans 5:8, "God put His love on the
line for us by offering His Son in sacrificial death while we
were of no use whatever to Him." Is your Love for your wife
based on feelings and/or circumstances rather than commitment?
"Love puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks
for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end."
1 Corinthians 13:7
Do something "out of the ordinary" for your wife ~
something that proves (to you and to her) that your love is based
upon your choice and nothing else! Demonstrate LOVE to her for
the sheer joy of being her partner in marriage.
Question: Has your love in the past been based on your wife's
attributes and behavior or your commitment? How can you continue
to show love when it's not returned in a way that you hoped
for? And the answer is "unconditionally". Give your
love and expect nothing in return.
Choose a way to show honor & respect to your wife ... that
is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door open for
her. It might be putting her clothes away for her. It may be the
way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your wife,
in specific ways, that she is highly esteemed in your
Today, ask your wife to tell you ... from her perspective ...
three things that frustrate her, or cause her to be uncomfortable
with you. You must do so without attacking her or justifying your
When you are driven and motivated by "love", you
intentionally behave in ways that make you more pleasant to be
around. And, you purposefully avoid things that frustrate or
cause discomfort for your wife.
You can tell a lot about a couple's relationship by how
they greet each other and how they speak to each other. From the
first thing you say to one another when you first speak in the
morning to what you say as you end the day each night. A sweet
and loving greeting can set the tone of the day for your wife. A
prayer together at the end of the day can help each other sleep
in peace. Determine to begin this practice ... starting
When life is busy... be sure to establish margin in your life to
continue investing into your marriage. Busy lives will be an
enemy of a great marriage. A good rule of thumb for marriage -
"The first 3 minutes with your spouse after having been
apart for a period of time, or just getting up first thing in the
morning, will set the tone for the rest of your time
When you were dating, and first married, your list of positive
things you appreciated about your wife would have been endless.
Along the way in marriage, "life happens", and too
often you pushed that list into the background and created a list
of negative things about our wife. Today, take a few minutes and
recreate a positive list of things you love and appreciate about
your wife. Keep the list handy, and each day choose one
characteristic from that list to thank God for that about your
So, today, over a special meal at home, or choose a time when
the kids are in bed to ask questions. Questions that could spark
the dialogue could be:
I believe God will show you what you need in order to love your
- What's your favorite ... Color? Food?
- What's the best movie you've ever
- If money was not an object, where would you like for us to
be right now?
When a man or woman tries to win the heart of another, they study
the person they want to win. They will learn their likes,
dislikes, habits, hobbies, what makes them laugh, and what makes
them cry. But, too often, after we win their heart and marry
them, we stop learning about them. The mystery and challenge may
seem less intriguing. We might even find the time we had
previously spent learning about them has drifted to other areas.
But . . . there are still hidden things to discover. Proverbs
13:15 reminds us, "Good understanding produces
The Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 2:4, "Do not merely
look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of
others ["your wife" ... commentary added]." Being
stubborn can be a good thing. But, remember: We can win the
battle, and lose the war . . . We can win an argument, and lose
our joy in marriage. Today: Demonstrate love by willingly
choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and
your wife. Buy your wife a dozen red roses showing your
appreciation of her.
Today I want to share some timeless truth from the most trusted
source for truth. God reminds us of the power of words - words
can build and words can destroy!
The Gospel According to Mark 3:25 reminds us that "A house
divided against itself cannot stand". Everyone knows that
conflict in marriage is inevitable. Since we said, "I
Do", we have discovered one another's sinfulness &
The deepest and most heart-breaking damage couples do to their
marriage is in the heat of conflict.
(1) Listen before speaking. James 1:9 warns: "Be quick to
hear, slow to speak and slow to anger."
(2) Deal with your own issues first. Remember Matthew 7:3?
"Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye
(wife's eye'), but do not notice the log in your own
(3) Speak gently and keep your voice down. Proverbs 15:1 is so
powerful. "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words
stir up anger."
Your marriage should not be a fight ... but it should be worth
Love is a choice, not a feeling! It is an initiated action,
not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to be committed to love
and show love, even if your wife does not receive it. Say and do
things today that convey: "I love you" (period). No
Every marriage has a lot of enemies. It's a battle each
partner must be committed to fight - all the time. Be on guard
for things that creep in and harm your marriage: Habits, Hobbies,
Entertainment, Unhealthy relationships.
TODAY: Remove anything / anybody that is hindering your
relationship with your wife. Including parents and siblings. If
you are not one another's "best friend",
something/someone has stolen that friendship from your
relationship. Get it back!
TODAY: Identify every object of lust in your life and remove
it. Reject every lie you have believed. Lust cannot be allowed to
live in a back room of your mind and heart. It must be killed and
destroyed. Then, replace it with true, Biblical love.
Anything that captures your heart out of curiosity has the
opportunity to entangle it - then you act on it - and the damage
is done. Your heart can be captured by a lust for possessions,
power, prideful ambitions, and people. You are deceived by
thinking, "I could be happy if I only had _____."
That's Lust, and lust is the opposite of Love. So, expose the
lust as a misguided thirst for something that only appears to
fulfill your real desires. Solomon urged: "Rejoice in the
wife of your youth. Why should you be exhilarated with an
adulteress [which is what any substitute for our wife would be
called]?" (Proverbs 5:18-21)
Whatever you haven't forgiven in your wife, forgive it
today. Un-forgiveness keeps a marriage in prison. Get
In order to have the kind of marriages that bring joy and honor
to God, this is most important. 1 Corinthians 13:5, "...
love keeps no record when it has been wronged...".
Take time today to examine where you fall short in
demonstrating true, Biblical love toward your wife. Ask God to
reveal the hidden areas to you - and He will. Commit to work to
overcome them. And, if your wife responds with criticism, accept
it by receiving it as counsel.
"When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you,
the judge, do the same thing." Romans 2:1.
Today is about personal responsibility . . . Something you want
your wife to have, but struggle to maintain herself. Love
doesn't pass blame, or justify selfish motives. Your goal is
not to prove how good a husband you have been, but to admit how
much further you have to go.
Eliminate the unrealistic expectations in your marriage. Think
of at least one area where your wife has told you that you are
expecting too much. Start a new pattern today of loving
"unconditionally". Stick a love note under her pillow
of how much you truly love her.
Too often, we go through marriage expecting our wive's to
fulfill our wishes and make us happy. Nearly always, giving our
wife an impossible order to fill. And, the greater our
expectations, the more likely your wife will fail you and cause
Look back over the past 4 weeks. Were there some challenges
that seemed impossible? Did you miss one or wish you could do
that "challenge" again? Take a challenge from the past
4 weeks and do that one today.
Before you see your wife again today, pray for her and for a
"specific" need in her life. And then when you do see
her; Whether it comes easy for you, or not, say "I Love
You", then express it in some tangible way. Afterwards, go
to God again in prayer, thanking Him for giving you the privilege
of showing unconditional love to this most special woman in your
Your wife will not always motivate your love. In fact, sometimes,
she may not even receive it when you try to express it. Moods and
emotions change. But, when God is your reason for loving, your
ability to love is guaranteed. That's because, "love
comes from Him"! "Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ also loved [unconditionally] the church and gave Himself
up for her." (Ephesians 5:25)
Choose one area of division in your marriage and first ask God
to reveal anything in your heart that caused the division. Then
choose today as a new opportunity to make
Nothing makes a marriage relationship sweeter than: Unity,
Togetherness, Oneness. Remember at your wedding ceremony? The one
who officiated said something such as: "And the two became
one. And what God has joined together, let no man separate."
Too often, we (man and woman) are guilty of
"separating" our Oneness. What would happen if we did
everything to promote oneness and make sure there was
nothing "separating" us?
Is there a "leaving" issue you haven't been
brave enough to conquer? Confess it to your wife today, and let
your wife be a part of you making it right. The oneness of your
marriage is dependent on it. Every wife needs the assurance that
she is the "Top" priority over every other human
Are you familiar with Genesis 2:24? "A man shall leave his
father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall
become one flesh."
That's God's blueprint for how marriage must be to work
God's way. It involves tearing away, and gluing
together. Couples who do not "practice exactly" the
leaving and cleaving will reap the consequences at some point ...
and the problems are difficult to repair after someone has been
If at all possible, try to initiate making love with your wife
today. Do this in a way that honors what your wife had told you
about what she need from you in your relationship. Before hand,
ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you, and a path to
The Bible has much to say about the blessing making love can be
to both a husband and a wife. God created it. He says to
celebrate it ... inside your marriage, only. In so doing,
you join yours, and your wife's hearts to each other in an
expression that no conversation can match.
But, when this legitimate need goes unmet, or is treated
selfishly or demanding, your hearts are drawn away and tempted to
fulfill this longing somewhere else, and in some other way. Sex
is not something to be used as a bargaining chip, or something
God allows us to withhold ... without consequence. To protect
this from happening, God set standards, saying, "The wife
does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does;
and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his
own body, but the wife does." (1 Corinthians 7:4).
You are the one person called and designated by God to meet your
wife's sexual needs. Don't allow a distance to grow
between you. But the path to getting there must not be by
sulking, guilt trips, arguing, or demanding. Love is the only way
to ignite the union between a husband and a wife.
Recognize how much your wife means to you. Let her know that
you realize that importance. Assure her that you value her wisdom
and counsel in decision making ... whether it directly affects
her, or not. If, in the past, you have ignored her insight and
wisdom, admit you know you were wrong and ask her to forgive
There is an eye-opening verse in Ecclesiastes 4:11, "If two
lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm
Love can function on its own if there is no other way ... but
there is a "more excellent way" (1 Corinthians 12:31).
God so designed you that your wife "completes" you. You
are made for each other. Your temperaments compliment each other
and provide a balanced relationship. One is strong in the area of
the other's weakness.
Scripture says, "Two are better than one ... for if either
of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But, woe to
the one who falls when there is not another to lift him (her)
up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Think of a recent specific example when your wife demonstrated
Christian character and commend her for it at some point today.
Add today: Read 1 Corinthians 13 in the New Testament.
We can learn much about how to treat your wife from 1 Corinthians
13. And, verse 6 reminds us: "Love does not rejoice in
unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth." From the
moment you close your Bible after reading each morning, nearly
everything else will be luring you away from the truth. Opinions
of people, media, websites, will all work overtime to slant your
view of "real life". Stop the lure! Instead, review
what makes you most proud of your wife. You are the most
influential person in your wife's life. So . . .
Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book
that will give you some guidance. Begin submitting each area of
your life to its guidance and start building your marriage on the
solid rock of Christ and His Word.
Psalm 119:105 tells us, "Thy Word is a lamp to my feet and a
light to my path". If it is not already a habit in your
life, now is the time to begin reading a portion of it everyday.
Why? David said in Psalm 119:11, "Your Word have I treasured
in my heart that I might not sin against You." In the Bible,
we find the right plan for everything ... marriage included. Wise
couples build theirs lives on truths found in God's Word.
Then, you can sustain life's storms - no matter how serious
Ask your wife if you can begin praying together. Talk about
the best time to do this. Even if your wife refuses to do this,
resolve to pray daily for your marriage and for your
If someone told you that by changing one thing about your
marriage, you could guarantee with near 100% assurance that your
life together would significantly improve, you would at least
want to know what it was. Well ... for many couples, that one
thing would be the daily practice of praying together.
To tell someone that praying together is a key ingredient to
marital longevity and leads to heightened sense of sexual
intimacy might seem strange. But the unity that grows between a
husband and wife when they pray together regularly form an
intense bond and stimulates every area of marriage.
Find a mentor for your marriage. Find someone that will be
honest and loving enough to tell you the truth. Approach this
person and establish an open door with them to talk real and
authentic with you about your marriage. Seek advice within your
same gender and someone that has been down the path you are
A great Proverb for marriage is found in Proverbs 15:22
"Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good
counsel and watch them succeed." All of us need wise counsel
throughout our journey. It is the wise person who constantly
seeks after it and embraces the wisdom. The opposite is a foolish
person - they never ask for advice and when it is given, they
Do you have an older couple or a friend of the same gender you
can turn to for sound and wise advice?
Ask yourself what your wife would want if it was obtainable.
Commit it to prayer. Put your heart into it and map out a plan
for meeting that desire at whatever level you possibly can.
Finish by reading Psalm 37:4
What is something your wife would really, really love? And how
often do you ask yourself that question? Common sense and budget
restrictions tell us we can't give your wife everything she
might like - but, love sometimes needs to be extravagant. And
extravagance can often be obtained on a budget.
Put your unfailing love in the most powerful and personal
words you can. Declare that no matter what imperfections exist,
your love is greater. Write a letter of commitment to your
wife. Include why you are committed to your marriage until death,
and that you promise to love her - no matter what. Give the
letter to her as a love gift.
The greatest testimony about Biblical love is found in 1
Corinthians 13:8, "Love never fails". It refuses to
give up, even when hurt, wounded, challenged, or
mistreated - or even if your wife refuses to
receive it. Real, Biblical love just keeps on loving.
You have just completed the "40 Day Marriage
Challenge". But, the challenge to improve your marriage
never ends. Create your own LOVE CHALLENGES in the days to come
so that you keep the emphasis on building your relationship and
marriage... At the end of this 40 day challenge your marriage
will be reconsolidated but do not let it end here. Live these 40
days one at a time for the rest of your life. It is entirely up
to you - if your marriage conquers or fails.
For my conclusion - click HERE and
get a greater understanding of FULL SURRENDER unto our Lord and
Heavenly Father. Through this journey you have taken to save your
marriage you should had also been on a greater Spiritual Journey
with Jesus on helping you in saving your marriage. And now it is
time for you to surrender it all to our Lord.
Love From Genesis Through The Revelation.
*Forty days after
the birth, Jesus was presented to the Temple of Jerusalem for his
legal purification, according to the established law.
*The 40 days of fast of Jesus in the desert.
*Forty days separate the Ascension of Jesus of his
*The Flood of Noah lasted 40 days.
*Elijah walked 40 days and 40 nights before to reach the Horeb
mount. He fasted during 40 days before to begin his public
ministry and he remained 40 days on the Carmel mount.
(1 K 19,8)
*The priest Eli had been judge of Israel for 40 years.
(1 S 4,18)
*Moses was 40 years old when he was called by God and that he
killed an Egyptian, and escaped in the desert of Midian. He kept
the herd of Jethro during 40 years. He resided finally 40 days
and 40 nights to the summit of the mount Sinai before to receive
the Tables of the Law.
*During 40 day Goliath defied David.
*The children of Israel lived during 40 years in the constraint
with the Philistines.
(Jg 13, 1)
*The Hebrews wandered 40 years in the desert.
*The reign of Joash lasted 40 years in Jerusalem.
(2 Ch 24,1)
*The people of Nineveh had to repent during 40 days. (Jon
*Isaac was 40 years old when he married Rebekah. (Gn 25,20)
*The embalming of Jacob was prolonged during 40 days.
*The reign of David on Israel lasted 40 years, just as the reign
of Solomon in Jerusalem.
(1 K 2,11 and 11,42; 2 Ch 9,30)
*Ezekiel supported the iniquity of the house of Juda during 40
*The 40 emissaries of Canaan.
*The 40 years of repentance of Adam after his corrupt
*Forty is the number of chapters of the book of the Exodus of the
*The number 40 is used 98 times in the Bible.
*The number 1 under its cardinal form is used 40 times in the
Gospel of John.
*The term "city of David", designating Jerusalem,
appears 40 times in the OT. The verb to adore is used 40 times in
the NT and the verb to disavow, 40 times in the